The Hidden Cost of Family Court Battles: How Prolonged Litigation Devastates Children and Families
When relationships break down and parents find themselves embroiled in Family Court proceedings, the financial burden often captures headlines. However, a recent investigation from ABC reveals a far more devastating truth: it’s the emotional toll on children that represents the greatest casualty of high-conflict family law disputes.
Recent reports from parents navigating the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia paint a sobering picture. Cases costing upwards of $1 million, threats of financial ruin, and lawyers allegedly “maximising fees” have become commonplace. Yet beyond these staggering financial costs lies an even more profound impact—the lasting trauma inflicted on the children caught in the crossfire.
The Real Victims: Children in the Crossfire
Research from the Whitlam Institute in 2021 examining children’s rights within Australia’s family law system revealed a significant theme: the “feeling of powerlessness” many young people experience during their parents’ court battles. This finding underscores a critical flaw in how family disputes are currently resolved.
Angelo Bistolaridis, a family law lecturer at Western Sydney University, explains the devastating reality: “When you have parents who are in a vitriolic, very difficult relationship and that is playing out in the court, you have children who can exhibit signs of really high anxiety.”
The emotional consequences are far-reaching. Children become “scared of the unknown future, and Family Court can exacerbate that. It can be exhausting and it takes away from the task of being a child,” notes Sandra Martel-Acworth from Relationships Australia NSW.
The Litigation Trap: How the System Fuels Conflict
The current adversarial nature of family law proceedings often transforms what should be a collaborative resolution process into a battleground. Parents interviewed describe feeling swept into an exhausting journey where the focus shifts from their children’s wellbeing to winning against their former partner.
Mia Madafferi, a Sydney lawyer and high-conflict negotiation coach, identifies a crucial insight: “It’s not the divorce itself that impacts children, it’s the ongoing parental conflict and that’s one of the main factors in negative outcomes for children.”
The financial reality compounds these issues. Legal fees can escalate quickly due to “the hourly rates of lawyers, the volume of correspondence in a matter, the complexity of someone’s asset pool, preparation of documents in proceedings and third-party costs such as mediators, barristers, family report writers.”
A Better Path Forward: Why Mediation Should Come First
The evidence is clear: prolonged litigation rarely serves children’s best interests. Instead of protecting them, the adversarial court process often intensifies conflict and extends their exposure to parental disputes.
Mediation offers a fundamentally different approach. Rather than positioning parents as opponents, mediation creates a collaborative environment where the focus remains firmly on the children’s needs and future wellbeing. This process:
Protects Children from Prolonged Conflict: Mediation typically resolves disputes in weeks or months, not years, significantly reducing children’s exposure to ongoing parental tension.
Maintains Parental Control: Unlike court decisions imposed by judges, mediated agreements are crafted by parents themselves, ensuring solutions that truly work for their unique family circumstances.
Preserves Family Resources: The money saved through mediation—potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars—remains available for children’s education, healthcare, and future security rather than being consumed by legal fees.
Reduces Emotional Trauma: The confidential, non-adversarial nature of mediation helps maintain dignity and reduces the emotional ammunition that fuels ongoing conflict.
Builds Co-Parenting Skills: Mediation teaches communication and problem-solving techniques that serve families long after the initial dispute is resolved.
When Professional Support is Essential
For families dealing with domestic violence or significant safety concerns, immediate professional help is crucial. In these circumstances, mediation may not be appropriate, and specialized legal and safety services should be the first priority. Resources include the NSW Domestic Violence Line (1800 656 463) and 1800 Respect National Helpline (1800 737 732).
However, for the majority of separating families, early intervention through mediation can prevent the escalation that leads to high-conflict litigation. As one family law expert noted, “the best thing you can do is not necessarily litigate, but get them the professional help they need financially, mentally, physically and psychologically.”
The Time for Change is Now
The Whitlam Institute research recommended that “children’s rights demand a radical re-conceptualisation of the decision-making processes used in children’s family law matters,” determining that “system design should be regularly informed by the people it is meant to help.”
This re-conceptualization starts with recognizing mediation as the first and best option for most family disputes. By choosing mediation early, parents can:
- Resolve disputes faster and more cost-effectively
- Maintain control over outcomes affecting their children
- Preserve family resources for their children’s future
- Model collaborative problem-solving for their children
- Avoid the trauma and powerlessness that court proceedings often inflict
Taking Action for Your Family’s Future
If you’re facing family law issues, remember that litigation should be a last resort, not the first response. The stories shared in recent investigations serve as powerful reminders that prolonged court battles rarely produce winners—especially among the children they’re meant to protect.
At Mediations Australia, we specialise in helping families resolve their disputes through collaborative, child-focused mediation. Our experienced mediators understand the complexities of family law and are committed to finding solutions that prioritize your children’s wellbeing while protecting your family’s financial and emotional resources.
Don’t let your family become another statistic in the costly cycle of family law litigation. Contact Mediations Australia today to explore how mediation can provide the faster, better, and cheaper resolution your family deserves.
This article is general information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional legal advice. Consult a qualified family lawyer or mediator for personalized guidance.
