Convincing Your Ex-Partner to Do Mediation
As much as we want to make relationships work, there are times when it is difficult for those involved to resolve issues on their own. When it comes to parenting and property matters post-separation, unfortunately, emotions can override common sense. The consequences of which can be extraordinarily expensive and lengthy. The bottom line is that you want to avoid litigation at all costs and resolve the issues in dispute with mediation. However, that can prove difficult, particularly when one party is willing and the other is not.
What do you do about this if you’re the willing party?
Choose a Mediator that you are both comfortable with
The mediator’s role is to get the parties to compromise or agree to the terms of the settlement. That is why, when choosing a mediator, it should be someone that your former partner is comfortable with, someone they can freely express themselves to so that the process is not too emotionally painstaking. At Mediations Australia, our mediator will consult with both parties prior to each mediation.
Clarify the Focus of Mediation
If your ex will not do mediation, it’s often because they don’t understand its true purpose. Sometimes, a person is reluctant to undergo mediation because they misunderstand what it involves. Some think that mediation is a form of litigation. Others may wrongly perceive that the costs will be similar to that of legal action. In order to convince your ex-partner to consider mediation, help them understand that this is an out-of-court action and that the sooner the issues are resolved, the sooner everyone can move on. Pivotal to this of course is ensuring that there is clarity of the issues that are in dispute. When emotion is overwhelming, it can distort the real issues that need resolution. A free, initial consultation with one of our mediators will assist you both to understand what really is in dispute.
Mediation is not counselling
Another misconception of mediation is that it is equivalent to counseling where the counselor aims to bring back the ex-partners together. Mediation is not about reconciling the relationship, nor does it deal with emotional issues. The primary objective of mediation is to identify the issues in dispute and formalise an agreement between you both that resolves the issues.
Mediation Gives You More Control Over the Outcome
Mediation, in comparison to litigation, gives the parties more control over the terms of the settlement, hence, they are much happier with the result of their resolution compared to “litigation” where the judge solely decides the outcome of the case and the parties have no say with regard to the result.
You Don’t Need to Be in the Same Room
Often an impediment to mediation can be the misconception that the mediation is facilitated around a table. For most mediations, this does not occur. In fact, most mediations occur in what is described as a shuttle format. This means that the mediation will be done via zoom or video conference and you will not see the other party or talk with them. Instead, the mediator will work between you both trying to reach a resolution.
What to do next
The best way to have your former partner agree to mediation is through the provision of information. A great way to have them informed is simply to send a link to this website. Also, at Mediations Australia, should you or your former partner have questions about the process, we can answer them for you at no cost.
If you would like to further discuss any of the issues raised in this article, contact our expert Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Sydney mediation team today. Mediations Australia exists to help people stay out of court and resolve their issues in a faster, cheaper and more effective way.
